General
dom / domme
What does dom / domme mean?
The Dom is the one in charge — the partner exercising psychological authority and control in a power dynamic. This is about headspace and command, not who's physically doing what (that's Top/Bottom). 'Domme' is the feminine spelling, pronounced the same, used to flag a woman in the role. Short for dominant.
"She's a strict Domme — the control is all in how she talks to you, she barely needs to lift a finger."
Frequently asked questions
What's the difference between a Dom and a Top?
A Dom holds psychological control; a Top performs the physical action of a scene. Often the same person, but not always.
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