Gaming
johns
What does johns mean?
Any excuse a player reaches for after underperforming — the controller drifted, the setup lagged, they weren't warmed up. The classic comeback is 'no johns', meaning own your loss and stop whining.
"He started listing johns about the wifi the second he lost game five."
Origin
Coined in 1999 by Smash player Jesse 'Zulu' Fuentes, after a friend named John who constantly made excuses for losing. 'No Johns' spread from there across the Melee scene.
Frequently asked questions
What does 'no johns' mean?
It's the standard reply to someone making excuses — take the loss, no excuses. It comes from the same origin as 'johns' and is one of the most quoted phrases in the Smash scene.
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