sonder
Sonder (noun) means the sudden realisation that every stranger you pass is living a life as full, detailed and complicated as your own. Example: “Sitting on the train watching the lit windows go by, she felt a wave of sonder.”
How to Use Sonder
Learner’s notesIn plain EnglishThe feeling you get when you realise every stranger has a whole life of their own.
Literary and internet usage; avoid in formal or academic writing without explanation.
Fill the Gap
Can you complete this real example?
Sitting on the train watching the lit windows go by, she felt a wave of _____.
Etymology
A modern coinage from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a project by the writer John Koenig that invents words for unnamed feelings. It is not an inherited English word, though it echoes French 'sonder', to probe or sound out.
Rhymes for sonder
See all rhymes for sonder →Frequently Asked Questions
Is sonder a real word?
It is a real word in the sense that people understand and use it, but it is an invented one with no history before the 2010s and it does not appear in most established dictionaries. Treat it as a useful coinage rather than standard vocabulary.
What is the difference between sonder and empathy?
Empathy is feeling with a particular person whose situation you can picture. Sonder is broader and more disorienting: it is the abstract shock of grasping that every anonymous person in a crowd has an interior life as detailed as yours.
How do you use sonder in a sentence?
It works as an uncountable noun for the feeling itself, as in 'a moment of sonder' or 'I felt sonder watching the airport crowds'. There is no established verb or adjective form.