abbreviation

DTR

dee-tee-ARR

DTR (abbreviation) means Define the relationship: a conversation in which two people who have been dating agree on what they actually are to each other and whether they are exclusive. Example: “Four months in, we finally had the DTR talk.”

abbreviation

informal Define the relationship: a conversation in which two people who have been dating agree on what they actually are to each other and whether they are exclusive.

"Four months in, we finally had the DTR talk."

"He keeps dodging any attempt at a DTR."

verb

informal To have that conversation.

"We should probably DTR before you meet my parents."

How to Use DTR

Learner’s notes

In plain EnglishIt is the talk where two people agree what they are to each other.

When to use it

Casual, chiefly American, and common in dating writing and among young adults. Most often appears as "the DTR talk" or "the DTR conversation".

Memory tip

Almost always used with the definite article: the DTR, not a DTR.

Common pairings

DTR talk have the DTR avoid the DTR

Study it as flashcards or scroll it in Flow — saved to your collection.

Test yourself on “DTR” A quick quiz — meaning, synonyms & usage →

Fill the Gap

Can you complete this real example?

Four months in, we finally had the _____ talk.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a DTR talk?

It is an explicit conversation about the status of a romantic relationship: whether you are dating, exclusive or just casual. It replaces guessing with an agreed answer.

When should you have the DTR conversation?

There is no fixed rule, but people usually raise it once they are seeing each other regularly and want to know whether to keep other options open. Waiting until resentment builds tends to make the conversation harder, not easier.